Featured Mail

Teds sure nailed this one

About a month ago you published two articles that were not only interesting, but turned out to be the stuff of network news. Last night’s (11/21) “60 Minutes II” report “An Eye for an Eye” was an amalgam of your reports “Are we up for the real solution to terrorism” and “Capture Bin Laden alive and prepare for a bigger headache than we already have.” What CBS didn’t address was your thoughts about the fallout of kidnappings. They should have. Keep making them think, Teds. (Sender: R.J Johnson, Texas)

Getting back to normal – here’s the evidence

As the war on terrorism continues with its lackluster images of the Afghanistan night sky, worries over anthrax exposure wane, and the stories in general sound more like droning than new information, life as we know it may be just around the corner.
Just the other day, we had our first low-speed car chase in months, and it was a doozy! A flaming 18-wheeler lumbering its way through the streets of Dallas. Now that’s great television! But that was only the teaser.
Temptation Island 2 debuted, offering everythingadulturous we need to make our lives, and the lives of network execs, complete. Four goofy-looking guys attempting to find themselves, along with their girlfriends – which unlike the first Temptation Island – appear as if they’ll actually put out for the on-site, would-be gigolos. We are also now getting a full Friday morning dose of Bryant Gumball and the latest Survivor contestant to be pitched from the show! Who needs an update on the search for a cave-dwelling murderer like Osama bin Laden when we can enjoy ousted mama’s boy/bartender/wanna-be actor Silas yucking it up with his “bud” Bryant, or offering Jane Clayson a rose on air?
These are the kinds simple pleasures we need to heal ourselves.
Even Rikki Lake has made the turn. She’s back to sporting those skin-tight outfits that no one of her bulk has any business wearing, as she imparts her wisdom on lingerie tips for couples in a sexual rut.
And of course, who could overlooked the Emmy Awards, where the selfless gaggle of television millionaires finally got their opportunity to honor themselves after that bothersome terrorist activity quashed their plans on two previous occassions.
Yes folks, the wounds of September 11 are clearly scabbing up nicely, and should be fully healed any day now. And for the brass at the top of the television programming heap, it’s not a moment too soon.
After all, what would they do if they ran out of reasons to consider us all idiots?

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Charitable giving – enough is enough?

As Former President Bill Clinton and Senator Bob Dole are the latest to join the charity fray in the wake of the horrific attacks that took place on September 11.
Does anyone have the courage to say, enough already, and this level of charity giving is ill-placed considering the bigger picture?
Are we up for the real solution to terrorism?
contributed by F. Riemer, New Orleans, LA
As the United States and its allies move forward in their quest to rid the planet of the scourge of terrorism, how can any efforts truly be deemed successful unless assassinations take place?
Proceeding in a John Wayne-esque manner is completely understandable for America… that’s what they do. However, what we really need here is the methods that Don Corleone would use to rectify the problem. Whether we can collectively live with this approach is beside the point. Air strikes, carpet-bombing, troop movements, even offering million-dollar rewards are all well and good, but they will only clip the flower, and not kill the root.
American’s are fundementally a graceful lot. As such, many “experts” say signing off on state-sponsored assassinations may be a hard pill for them to swallow.
However, those so-called experts make the same mistake many well-intended citizens of the world make – they completely and regularly underestimate the brutality of the enemies we face. Until they manage to get past that mentality, any and all solutions will be little more than band-aids on the problem.
The long term solution is really a simple one – let John join hands with the Don, and make the business of retaliation, personal.

Responsibility and ratings make strange bedfellows

contributed by T. Frances, Phoenix, AZ

So far, it’s been easy. As an intro to the report that follows, the television media reminds us that in the interest of national security, they delayed broadcasting issues of a sensitive nature until the details were reported elsewhere.
The question: is this an act of responsibility, and if so, just how long will the folks on TV be willing to allow others to “scoop” them?

Popular causes well intended, but not necessarily needed

contributed by V. Cisneros, New York, NY

While the families of the firemen, police officers, and other emergency personnel who perished in September 11 collapse of the World Trade Towers continue to suffer personal loss, the millions of dollars being raised to aid those families may do more good directed somewhere else.

Capture Bin Laden alive and prepare for a bigger headache than we already have

contributed by R. Samuels, St. Louis, MO As a citizen of the state of Israel, you come to understand one thing very soon in life: if you’re taken prisoner of a terrorist group, when it comes to your rescue, your life is expendable, because you’re a soldier – everyone is a soldier. If the United States manages to capture Osama Bin Laden alive, every U.S. citizen may have to embrace the very same idea.

Ever consider this? Polluting us through the polluted

Recently a reader of TedsTurnovers.com contacted us regarding the current scare of Anthrax exposure in the U.S., and offered a scenario we decided to explore.
What if anthrax was introduced into the world’s current supply of illicit drugs?

Using Insight to stop terrorism

It’s the stingiest of any gas-burning vehicle on our roads, and, a step in the right direction to winning the war on terrorism.
It’s the Honda Insight.
At a wopping 64 miles per gallon, if every one of us saddled into an Insight, the nation’s dependence on foreign oil supplies to get us from here to there, would plummet. After that, our foreign policy with the likes of our so-called “friends” in Saudi Arabia and the rest of OPEC from whom we routinely pay for oil with blood, would immediately become something altogether different. At that point, we would be free to call the shots, or, ignore their on again, off again blackmail techniques and price gouging.
But that’s not all.
Because this beauty is so damn small, fewer teenage girls would get knocked up in the back seats of cars (unless they’re dwarfs), government support for unwed mothers would drop, medical costs for treating STD’s would fall, and fewer of us would have to deal with cramming our cars in between those behemoth SUVs. With that, our moods would be better, our atmosphere would be better, and, our children would inherit a better world.
In short, many of our biggest problems would disappear! Hell, we’d probably even hug more.
Once we’re free of the ass-kissing we must partake in with the countries that provide us with oil while they simultaneously finance terrorism (and we deliberately pretend like it’s not happening), we’re free to eliminate anyone we damn well please without the worry of that resulting in a ten cent bump at the pump.
So let’s do the patriotic thing… buy an Insight, and save our way of life forever!

Competing interests vie for limited funds

In the wake of the September 11 attacks on New York’s World Trade Center towers and Washington, D.C., most of the nation’s charities are facing an unpleasant fiscal reality.
Funding is drying up.
It’s an unspoke rule in the world of charities that during a national time of crisis such as the one the U.S. is experiencing now, the normal competition for dollars between groups is all but suspended. Giving way to the prominent charity of choice, in today’s case, the American Red Cross, is the understanding – even if that means your charity will suffer.
While few would question the efforts of the America Red Cross during this time, as long as their international media blitz continues, other organizations which vie for charity dollars are hesitant to move forward with their normal operating procedures – particularly if it involves exploiting print, radio, and television outlets to get their message out.
And time may not be their ally.
As the U.S. continues its push to impliment its “war on terrorism,” the time horizon for anything resembling victory is at best, incalcuable. What that means is as long as the perception of “war” is present, the American Red Cross will likely remain the featured charity, and those who would normally make their own pleas for funding will remain silent.
And for some, that could result in a significant enough drop in the level of capital they require to remain viable.